JOKES

Hanging
A cowboy walks into a bar. He notices it is strangely empty, so he asks the bartender Where's everybody?
Bartender: They went to the hanging.
Cowboy: A hanging? Who are they hanging?
Bartender: Brown Paper Pete
Cowboy: Why's he called Brown Paper Pete?
Bartender: Well, he wears a brown paper bag for a hat, brown paper bags for his shoes, and his shirt, pants, and belt are all made out of brown paper bags.
Cowboy: Well, that's strange...hmmm.....What exactly are they hanging this Brown Paper Pete for?

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Rustling!

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for those of you perplexed by this, the reference is to Cow Rustling (stealing cattle)

Conversion

Boudreaux the Baptist, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."

Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched. There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish."